Evidence of God's provision.

Today I was looking through my blog to see the over all growth of a year. I came across an entry from June. Amazing how God prepares us to weather the storm.

In order to understand the meaning of that statement, I need to take a minute and fill you in on the past 4-5 months of my life. How God took my world as though it was a snow globe and shook it up until everything landed in a new fashion and I had to adapt. Many of you may read this and think, "yeah Yeah, we all go through change and have to adapt." Which is true. However, I beg you to take into consideration that my personality is dangerously dependent on a planned systematic schedule, to a fault. So when my life resembled the restructuring of the aftermath of a tornado, I became very dependent on the lessons and faith God had grown in me previous to these months (at some points, unknowingly).

A previous work-a-holic, a homebody with a contentment with working 11+hour days, taking care of someone else's family and then going home to cook, clean and take care of myself. My schedule read like the schedule on a business trip itinerary. And to venture from that schedule was a rare moment. From April to October, my life had been frustrating to say the least. It seemed as though I had no time to myself, and although many blessings came from those months, I felt desperately used by a few people and I was neglecting the relationships of those who genuinely cared for me. My conscience was exauhsted and my nerves were shot. By Septemeber, if you asked, you got a brutally honest response, due to the fact that I could not even think far enough to filter my answer. It was a damaging path created by those who continuously took of my time, money, energy and effort, without investing in the return, at all. I was exauhsted, yes, but more so I was facing great the greatest defeat. I was allowing my circumstances to affect my very self. The character I resounded was trampled by the negativity of ever wanting or desiring to help anyone else.

I had a date to which, I was taking back control. A tangible moment I was taking my life back. (My first mistake, the need for control)October 3rd. I was going to learn to say no, not take on more responsibility than I could handle and life was back to the norm...right. Isnt it ironic how when you think life is "yours again" God quickly reminds you that it is HIS. :)

October 3rd began with an email that to most was not a surprise with the economy the place it was or the recession nosediving still. However, to a work-a-holic...an email on Sunday, reading "dont come to work Monday" shakes you to the core. So, I quickly go to defend my character and my identity. I try with all the effort left in me to disarm false accusations and hurt feelings. (which over the years I have grown acustomed to) I faced the realization that although the truth was finally discovered and reconcilliations were made and the relationships were saved, the job was over. I all of a sudden had 11+ hours to fill. And for a grieving person free time is NEVER GOOD!

In the weeks to come I moved to Memphis to look for work. Which God was absolutely involved in. I found work within a week of being here. BUT the Sunday I brought my belongings to town, I mistakenly thought I could regain my "system." And God, I'm sure while laughing, reminded me once more, IM NOT IN CONTROL, He is. That very day my purse, identity and every penny to my name was stolen.

So on Sunday, I found myself in Memphis away from home, without my job of 5years, Away from those who KNEW me, without any money, and no proof of being myself. It was the emptiest I had felt in a long time. I showed up to work Monday hoping they would just believe I was Lisa Henderson, since my Driving License and SSN were in the hands of a complete stranger no where to be found (whom I pray God convicts still today).

In the 2 months following, my transmission on my jeep went out, my laptop crashed, my home would not rent or sell, and even my flat iron broke! (I know that last one seems silly, but trust me, BIG deal! No pun intended, ha)

My core was shaken more every day, but while God stripped me of everything that gave me comfort and security he reminded me daily through reading, devotionals and people in my life, that those things that "shook" were not foundational in my life. My Foundation was strong and sturdy! And my Foundation embraced me with love, security and resounding affirmation that HE would provide and sustain me.

Currently, I am working in a job I LOVE. Surrounded by people that support and love me, and make me laugh on a daily basis. I am in a church that is impressing the Love of my God and the knowledge of Him. I am blessed beyond my greatest expectation. However looking back, I was blessed emensly the entire time I couldn't see through the storm. Blessed with work, blessed with family, blessed with transportation, blessed with a roof over my head and blessed with laughter and love.

God shook me to show me I could trust HIS support, lean on Him and know my feet treaded solid ground. He took me from "idols" I would have never broken from. Work, home, money, self. He broke my effort to control in order to gain perspective of the direction He designed my life to go. And when life seemed as difficult as it could get and my mouth uttered the words " enough is enough" my heart echoed "I am enough." God reminded me "HE is in control and that His presence is security in the greatest form!


SO...all that to say, when you think your time with God is unimportant or listening to your heart is a waste of time, I dare you to write it down and then months from now, see what he was showing you, preparing you for, teaching you. It will be evident and real! As was this entry when reading it today!



Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Digging your heals in.

I am more thankful than I can say how life has seemingly settled! Maybe it was true events of the past 10 years or maybe it was immaturity, but my life always seemed as though it were FULL of curve balls! I always felt as though I were on my toes or crashing fast! Life these days ... it is much more systematic. A home (so no moving around) a job (for the past 4 1/2 years) and a great church, great friends, incredible relationship...life is GOOD.

So, in reflecting I was reminded of a quote.

"God will shake everything surrounding you, in order to prove to you that HE has your feet on SOLID GROUND!"

This quote causes me to wonder. With life being so comfortable, does that mean I have learned to KNOW the unshaken ground I stand on...or does it mean I should dig my heals in and prepare? I remember clinging to this quote so many nights in order to find what little joy I could in circumstances of my past! I am so thankful that I was able to know what I stood on, in order to stand through the "curve balls" I put myself in line for.

As a side note: You know, I cant tell you how many times I was told, nor how many people told me do as I say not as I do" and now...I pray that one day at least one child will head that same advice. Mistakes are only mistakes until you learn from them...but the consequences and the pain is a journey to overcome. So ... all to say (in a rabbit-trail) When life leaves you uneasy or unsure, remember the ground you stand on! If your grounded in faith, you can trust that the core of who you are is left unshaken, simply molded to become more in line with the man or woman GOD desires you to be.

Knowing that I am no where near the woman God intends...and having much to learn and more to grow, I guess in the seasons of simplicity and ease...we prepare to ground ourselves for the next lesson we are going to learn!



The evidence of God's provision for me this day is this:

"God [shook] everything surrounding [me], in order to prove that HE ha[d] [my] feet on SOLID GROUND!"

What is he teaching you today to prepare you for tomorrow??